If you haven't heard the saying “You become one parent and marry the other” then this may be a shocker for you.

For many years you may have noticed great guys marring women that treat them badly and sweet loving women who have demanding controlling husbands. This situation plays out in many relationships.

Regardless the type of relationship, the reason behind your choices starts at a deeper unconscious or subconscious level.

You choose a certain person based on your attraction strategy. They seem wonderful and just what you want in your life. You may be unaware of ... the deeper reason you choose a partner or friend.

Which parent did you become?

During your developmental years you go through what's called the modeling stage, which is appropriately between the age of 7 and 14. These are the years where you model significant people in your life and start forming who you are. Little girls often model their mothers and little boys their fathers. However, this is not always the case. You may have modeled either parent and sometimes certain characteristics of both.

Also you can model teachers, peers, movie stars or anyone else in your life. For the most part you will model one of your parents more than anyone else in this world.

Which parent did you model more; which parent did you become more like?

Of course you have your own personality, but there are certain attributes that will be more prominent in you that resemble one parent. These attributes may be kindness, sensitivity, frustration, outgoing, shy, driven, helpful, patient or controlling. This list can go on and on as you can well imagine.

Which parent did you marry?

Whether you marry, live with, date or become friends with, which parent did you attract in your life? Which parent is most like the person you chose for your partner or friend?

Often the partner you choose will be the parent that you did not become. This is where the saying comes from “You marry one parent and become the other”.

Why do you marry one parent and become the other?

There can be many reasons you do this, but addressing a couple may jolt you to something you never thought of before now.

First of all we choose what we are familiar with. That is an easy one to understand and probably not a light bulb moment for you. Another reason you choose the partner you do is to heal your hurts from the past and to evolve as a person.

Yes believe it or not, you choose your partner to bring out all your hurts and insecurities you developed as a child so you can heal these issues and become the person you are meant to be.

A very unconscious process for sure, but if you have been in your relationship for awhile, you may notice how your partner triggers certain emotions that sends you back into feeling just like you did as a child. For this reason changing partners may not solve the problem.

As it has been known for many years, people repeat the patterns in their life until they learn and heal what is driving the emotions and behaviors. Healing your insecurities, self worth and learning to love yourself by stepping into your own power will change your unhealthy relationships into healthy happy relationships - that work!

 

Tags: Healthy Happy Relationships, Marriage, Marry, Relationships